Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Liar liar

When I was little I used to believe everything everyone said (which I think applies to all kids, but anyway). One time me and my older sister were playing or whatever in the woods. My sister, who is nine years older than I am, got bored and wanted to go home but I wanted to stay, so she made this growling sound, and said that there was a fox under some tree watching us. Of course, when you're five foxes are deadly man-eating beasts, so I freaked out and started running towards home. Even though I didn't even see the fox and I saw my sisters mouth move when the growling occurred, I still believed that if I would have stayed in the woods for one more second, some fox would've eaten me for dinner.

But a lot has changed since those days. Now I consider that my bullshit-radar is even better than average. You see, I have this friend who has a habit of making things up and lying through her teeth to her everybody without blinking an eye. But she doesn't really have a good imagination, because she just copies everyone else's lives. For example, few months ago, I told her that my brother was having a baby and he and his wife wanted me to be the godmother of the baby. Then about a week after that, we have the following conversation:

Lyingbitch: So, guess what? I'm going to be a godmother too!

Me: Oh, that's nice.

Lyingbitch: Yeah, remember my friend Imaginaryguy? He is having another baby, so they wanted me to be the godmother.

At this point my bullshit-radar started blinking and beeping (or whatever radars do) like hell.

Me (thinking): That's funny, because what I've gathered from our earlier bullshit conversations, this guy is barely 20, and already has a baby which was an accident, so somehow I wouldn't think that a guy in his prime age with no job and still in university would voluntarily impregnate a teenage girl again. And I also doubt that this "baby" is yet another accident, because please, if you forget the condom once, and have a baby because of that, you probably wont repeat the mistake.

This isn't the only time when she has been inspired by other peoples lives. Just recently, a mutual friend of ours told that her boyfriend cheated on her with some slutty chick. And guess what, now Lyingbitch has also been cheated on just last weekend! What a coincident! What confuses me about this though, is that she just yesterday announced that she has a new boyfriend, and today she tells us he cheated her and oh how tragic it all is. Whatever.

There has been numerous similar incidents throughout the years I've known her, and it's so obvious that she's lying. The mutual friend I was talking about earlier also agrees with me. But it's not that I hate her or anything, because she can be really nice and cool when she isn't lying. It's just so annoying that she does that, because we've know each other for quite a while now, and there really is no reason to lie about shit.


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