Saturday, February 19, 2005


So I had realization while I was shaking my ass in a club this weekend. School ended, sort of, there's still big ass tests coming up this spring and graduation celebration (that is if I pass those big ass tests) in June, but I don't have to go there everyday anymore. So this obviously meant that there was people my age partying all night long at clubs and bars and such. Me and a few of my pals also went to celebrate. I was excited, because I was expecting to do some kissing and groping with some nice-looking boys.

I looked cute (I think and hope), I danced like they do on music videos and I tried not to say mean things to men so they wouldn't think I'm a frosty bitch. At some point when I was shaking my behind, as I said earlier, I realized that I didn't really want to kiss and grope anyone from there. Why the sudden change of heart, you might perhaps ask yourself if you have bothered to read this post? Well, I scouted the dance floor thoroughly, but like I said, none of those strange men really interested me enough to make me exchange spit with them. This is because I compared them to Mr. Nice Posture. If you are not familiar with this person (which is probably the case, because I highly doubt that you read my blog regularly. But if you do, leave me a comment, call me, let's go and have a beer, I'm sure we'll be best buds!), I suggest you read my earlier posts Daydream believer and Damn you, possessed vacuum cleaner!.

Yes indeed, I actually had this thought running through my head: "I'm so bored, I don't want to kiss these guys, I wish I could kiss Mr. Nice Posture. I wish he was here. Oh crap, my belly is bulging out." I'm am an obsessed freak, I tell you. I don't even know him that well. I mean I know something about him, because I'm a pretty good stalker, but I only have talked with him once, and that wasn't really communicating, so I can't really say that I have actually talked with him for real. But that doesn't mean that I wont forever cherish (Or, you know, until I find another man to obsess about) those 5 seconds when we exchanged stupid words.

My problem is that I think he likes me too, but I'm not sure. He's always looking at me and his body language sort of sends me this come-on-closer-vibe. But occasionally, when I'm rational, I realize that this is just my brain twisting things again. I mean, this is probably closer to the truth:

Me: Oh there's Mr. Nice Posture. He's totally into me too, I just know it. There's no way he has a girlfriend because he has the hots for me. And if he does have one, he's just keeping himself busy until he gets the courage to ask me out. After that he'll dump that skank whoever she is.

Mr. Nice Posture: Oh shit! There's that crazy person who's always staring at me. She is SO creepy. Don't look, don't look! Oh no, I looked! Now my body is cringing again.

Me: There's that body language again! I'm totally getting this "You and me, in the guys bathroom, lets go and have a quickie before my math class starts"-vibe out of him. I'm never wrong about these things.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Valentine's Day Eve

Ah, Valentine's day. I remember when I was about 9 or so I had a crush on this cute boy who was a year older than me. We were friends, sort of, but our relationship never really got off. Such a shame. Though, I do remember this one intense moment between us when we were playing mushroom-war (yeah, with real mushrooms in the woods... don't ask). We hid behind trees while throwing mushroom at our enemies, and we laughed and smiled and stared at each other in the eyes. Then when Valentines day came, I had planned to give him a lovely card that I had made. Unfortunately, my brother told all about my girly card to this boy before the V-day, and together they laughed at me. I ended up not giving the card to that motherfucker.

But I realize now that I was a bit too pushy in my childhood romances. When I was 5 or something like that, there was this boy who I liked, and I showed my affection to him by drawing pictures of us holding hands, him giving me flowers, us living in a same house. Then I gave all those picture to him. I must have drawn him thousands of pictures, but he never responded to my wooing. He goes to the same school as I do now, but I nowadays I find him a bit annoying.

Anyway, to me, Valentine's day has always been a let down. At the end of the day I check my jacket pockets and backpack for steamy love letters from secret lovers, but so far I've had no luck. Therefore I'm just going to wake up tomorrow and try not to have any expectations for the day. That way when the only thing I'll find in my pockets is a candy wrapper, I won't get depressed.

Further reading: fuckvday