Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Drained

Those huge tests that I was talking about in my last post are now over. I managed to get some good results from some of them, but there were few that went worse than I expected. I don't get the final result until May, though, so nothing is definite yet, but I think I'll manage to get into some university with those results. Now it's time to start studying for entrance exams...

The thing is, I'm not sure what and where I want to study in the future. I keep browsing through this book where's a list of all the universities and such, but I'm just not sure. I have this image in my head where I'm in debt with a good-for-nothing degree and working at McDonald's. There's nothing wrong with working at McDonald's, but if I find myself serving BicMacs when I'm forty, I'll officially be pathetic. I just want to study something that I'm good at and that I like, and that getting a decent job with that degree wouldn't be extremely difficult.

Meh. I feel kind of pressured all the time. I feel like I have to live up to my family's expectations, but It's just my expectations I can't live up to. Or, you know, am not going to live up to if I can't get to a university or wasting a year or two studying something that I don't like. Plus I think my friends hate me. And I think I'm a loser. And I have gained a few pounds. Also, I have some zits in my face. And whine whine whineeeeee.

...anyway, I'm sure things will turn out alright eventually, I just feel pretty worthless right now.